Bell and Collar Co

Category: Product Notes

  • Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)

    Announcing Our Loyalty Program (Treats Required)

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.

    Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.

  • Why Everything We Sell Ends Up on the Floor

    Why Everything We Sell Ends Up on the Floor

    Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.

    If you take only one thing from this, take this: a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is not a bug. It is the product.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    Naturally there was a committee. Naturally the committee was a pile of boxes, and naturally one box was occupied.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.

  • Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes

    Shipping Updates From a Warehouse Full of Boxes

    A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.

    Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.

    The Short Version, Told Slowly

    The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.

    Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.

    In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.