A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
Our team did a careful study. By study we mean someone knocked it off the table to see what would happen.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
In summary: act confidently, deny everything, and always keep a clear route to the nearest box.
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