At Bell and Collar Co, we try to keep things simple, which means we complicate them and then take a nap.
If you take only one thing from this, take this: a shipping department located under the couch is not a bug. It is the product.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
The old guard prefers a returns policy enforced by staring. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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